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A scientific formula to help you in deciding to respond to this ad. So. I devised the following theorem/combination of theorems to help you in determining whether or not to respond to this ad. Please don't steal it without giving credit. It's copyrighted... or something.

  • Let any given woman (that's you!) reading this ad be denoted by the variable 'x'.

  • We have the following functions available for use:

    • Function 'r': removes religious zealots, as their inclusion in the final results would result in a breakdown of the model.

    • Function 'c': removes anyone that is considered by society as "mentally unstable." Function 'c' needs fine tuning, but is of sufficient quality as to be used in the model.

    • Function 'p': removes those that are averse to politiy incorrect jokes and/or dark humour.

    • Function 'd': filters out those who can't carry on a nonsuperficial conversation. Also, in the newest revision, this filters out those that routinely replace "you" with "u", etc., unless it's for the sake of mocking.

  • The functions should be applied to 'x' together and in order as follows:

    x = r(x)
    x = c(x)
    x = p(x)
    x = d(x)

  • If the final value of 'x' is still present and not drastiy reduced or eliminated, you should send a message to the poster of theorem, because we might have wacky fun together. Or not.
    Alternatively, if you find a flaw in this model, please send corrections as well!

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